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I just want to be around them, I want to watch all of their stuff. I don’t think anything’s necessarily changed with my engagement with comics because it’s like, if someone’s funny or great or whatever, I don’t care. So I watch everybody and am definitely curious about what people are talking about, how people are expressing themselves. I’ve always been a gay comedian, and I consume a lot of content. It made me wonder about your general awareness of and engagement with queer comedy and how that evolved as you started coming out. Incredibly written, incredibly performed, sexual…. It obviously reminds me of women that I grew up knowing and hearing.
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I don’t know what to call some of these feelings or how to label myself.” And she’s having fun and is very direct. And the set was so good because it was so honest. And I was very curious-I didn’t know she was gay. We used to see the tapes of her doing stand up, when my friends worked at the store and they had the vault and we would bring the VHS’s home. It was interesting this spring watching your special, and then shortly after that, I saw Netflix’s big LGBTQ+ comedy showcase, which made me wonder just about.
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I went up and it wasn’t really good, but there was something. The personal and the craft aligned in that way. There are these tools that you develop in order to get attention, and they were similar to the tools that I developed to represent myself as a man, which was funny. It’s a funny thing to say, but I was learning how to get rid of some of the old habits of some of the things that I used to do on stage that were some parts showmanship and some parts just really overly confident, because stand up is such a masculine sport….
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And so saying it, it’s like I kind of learned how to say it-and learned how to make it into an act. So then I did, and I said things, because I hadn’t talked about being gay on stage before. I called just to talk something out and it started sounding like stand-up, and I was like, “Oh yeah, here’s this art form that I hadn’t touched in like four or five years, that’s pretty immediate.” Instead of waiting for cinematographer availability, I could go to the comedy store tonight. I had a lot to say and needed something more immediate and I hadn’t done stand-up in a little while, consistently-it had been years. Not to reveal unfinished work, because I really hate when people do that, but more in line with My Dinner With Andre or a Swimming to Cambodia kind of thing, that was more monologue and involved other people. My friends, those following me on my little private IG, checked in with me: “But are you okay though?”Ĭan you talk a little bit about what comedy means to you in the context of coming out publicly? One of the reasons the special radiates that level of honesty is how authentic it all feels to you performing in the moment, for us watching. I’m sure on June 1, maybe a few check-in texts or something. Speaking personally, it really touched me, and I know it’s touched a lot of people-and I would think that you’ve encountered a lot of that sentiment as you’ve talked to people about it, whether in this kind of interview or not. As a personal document, it’s alive and changing. In many ways, do I think I deserve gold for it? Yes. I don’t know how to talk about it because it’s such a real thing. And even this very thing here-because I was thinking about this, the Little Gold Men podcast. So when I’m promoting, it feels weird because as a piece of art, as a thing that I made, as a thing to say “tune in,” that feels a little false. And like you said, it’s very, very personal. Because on one hand, I would always prefer to just release things, and then you find it, and I go and work and then come back when I have something else to say. Yeah, I have conflicting feelings about that. I’m curious how that part of talking about the special and talking about your life has been for you in a context that is, inevitably, a little promotional and quite exposed. This is a very personal project, on many levels, and we’re talking for an awards podcast. It’s one of those things that you just see it and you’re like, “Yeah, of course.” Of course life has to line up that way in order for me to have a sense of humor.